1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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