I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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