this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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