I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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