I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
