the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
