Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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