Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
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you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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