Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
