I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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