OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
