My first STD was from a foam party
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
