he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize