dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
