All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she peed on how many people?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
