that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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