i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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