she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
