my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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