Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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