youre lurking in front of me
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize