Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
