I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
