seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize