Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
