speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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