I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
