Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
