I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
