on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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