Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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