the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Boobs are out for the taking
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
