And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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