The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
