I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
