I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
