mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
