Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
