Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
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Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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