Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
In America we eat man semen.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Everyone says I win the strip club
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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