i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
