my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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