we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
