got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
