You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
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