I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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