You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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