So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
