so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
