Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
