Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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