Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
