Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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