Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
