it was like his penis was on wheels.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
