She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
